Bald Austin Butler Isn’t Real, He Can’t Hurt You

Bad news: Dune: Part Two is still many months from release. Good news: bald Austin Butler.

Yep, Elvis’ hair will be leaving the building (and his accent too, thankfully) as Butler steps into the cueball role previously filled by musician Sting in David Lynch’s 1984 treatment of Dune (a movie that I argue gets more hate than it deserves).

Note that the purported Dune: Part Two poster of a wildly aerodynamic Austin Butler seen above and on social media is not real, just a terribly convincing fan-made photo. Butler looks more like a shaved Geico caveman than an intimidating space ghoul.

Far be it for me to suggest that Butler’s character, the villainous Feyd-Rautha, shouldn’t look a little freakish but I’d much prefer a hot n’ sexy take in the vein of Sting’s role, metal diaper included.

The fake image of Austin Butler’s Dune look spread across social media anyways, because bald Austin Butler.

The news of Austin Butler losing his locks broke on April 26, when the Dune: Part Two premiered at Las Vegas’ CinemaCon (no online premiere for that clip yet) and critics on the scene reported about Butler’s “eerie” bald pate.

Also seen in the trailer: Florence Pugh, Javier Bardem, and Timothée Chalamet, sans tank top.

Also at CinemaCon: the premiere of Greta Gerwig’s and the Sydney Sweeney rom-com that’s kicked up rumors of a cheating scandal.

But nothing captures the imagination quite like the idea of bald Austin Butler. Say it out loud, see how it feels: Bald Austin Butler. Really makes you think.

I hope that Butler will look at least a little less cro-magnon in the final film, as it’s already quite distracting to conceptually contrast his expansive forehead against Timmy’s typically flowing mane, though I can’t deny that it’ll probably make him look that much scarier.

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